Dark Bread

My sister sent me this a while ago.  Originally, I was worried about what he was up to, trying to cook bread with a flashlight.  That's just not enough heat.  Then, after I'd looked at it for a while, I was much more disturbed that he's trying to cook a yeast-based product in a room with that much junk on the table and a washer (and presumably dryer) in the room.  I'd be worried about my loaf tasting like old socks.

If you're up for it, please leave your submission for a caption contest in the comments commemorating my father and his strange behavior.  Something like, "I've been standing here for a week, and the loaf still isn't browning."  Or, "If I stand here long enough, I'll catch those bread gnomes in action. They have to get done making cookies at some point."  Or, "I prefer light bread."Jesus? If you're in there, would you turn it into a bunch of loaves?" Or, "This should help fortify it with Vitamin D."