Drive by Ricing

I was at the Mall of America this last Sunday with the Assistant Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Installations and Environment and his wife, enjoying a cold coffee drink in the food court. A flicker caught my eye, and with a plink, two pieces of squashed together fried rice fell from the sky and landed on my shirt, leaving a nice grease stain. There was no one walking by. No one at the next table with fried rice. No one within several tables with a plate of fried rice. Someone, somewhere, was so vigorously eating their fried rice that it managed to cover at least 40 feet of food court just to violate my shirt. Nasty.