Infection - The Photos

French Dip asked to see some photos of my incarceration. I didn't leave them out because I didn't want to show them. It's just that I wrecked 'em. Ahahahaha....just try and outpun me. Dicks. Anyway, I just hadn't managed to get them off Pooteewheet's camera yet because I have to pop the chip, put that little chip in a bigger chip, put it in the camera, and then download the pictures. It's annoying.

Unfortunately, I don't have any surgical footage for you, although I'd have enjoyed that. They should tape surgery for you - that would be cool. Way better than wedding videos. But, if you're French Dip and you really must see a few nice pictures of hemorrhoids, then here's a Google image search. Keep in mind that anal melanomas are aggressive malignancies only masquerading as hemorrhoids and shouldn't be confused with anything I was suffering from. I was in no such danger (scroll down on that one from some enjoyable photos. The phrase "6 cm prolapsed, nodular, pigmented anal melanoma" should be enough to make your stomach churn without accompanying media).

Here I am in the ER. IVed and prior to antibiotics or the hospital. Don't look up my dress, although if you start to, you can see I still have a little bit of a tan from bicycling. That is not a Lance Armstrong bracelet.


Bad oxygen levels. They don't like it when you're at 90% and your white blood cell counts are way up. So they hook you to this tube which made my sinuses first dry, then congested. I'm not sure if those are hives or dry skin. Being in a hospital/clinic environment has given me hives before (I think there's a disinfectant to which I'm slightly allergic).


The shunt they left in for my hospital stay while they pumped various antibiotics into my system to cycle the fever down.


This will be the name of a future nephew. Axial. You KNOW this is a sign. It even starts with an "A". I should have scribbled a request on the back of a napkin in case I'd died in the bed.