Craft Meme

I made this one up myself. No, I'm not that bored. I wrote two stories today, took my daughter to breakfast and to the doctor, my car to the shop, found presents for my nephew's birthday party, returned my library books, read 50 pages, watched an episode of Weeds, went to live music at the local coffee shop, and still managed to put in a more productive day at work than usual. If I was cheerful all the time, I'd be Mr. Productive.

I would like to add that just like I tagged She Says for all Memes forever, I am now tagging SAHM for all memes in perpetuity. This is a craft meme, which should be her forte'. I will be tagging someone in perpetuity with each new meme, just so I don't ever have to target anyone in particular again.

Craft Meme - pass it along to anyone you know who has ever crafted, attempted to craft, or been the victim of a driveby crafting.

Do you knit?
No

Do you sew?
Only enough to attach a button or fix a sock.

Don't look it up. Don't. Look. It. Up. If you're reading this on someone else's blog, do this part mentally before continuing on. Define the following terms, and when you're done, put the answers at the very bottom of this meme: tatting, flocking, kerf and selvedge - make up a definition if you don't know. At this location (with a link) add a crafting term you think is uncommon, but which you know, to the list for others to define.

What's your favorite craft store?
Either the home brew store or Michael's, as Michael's has frames for my bicycling posters and a
circle punch for cutting out pieces for The Menorah Game.

Do you have a crafting hobby that is not knitting or sewing (what)?
Beer. I think it may be stretching it somewhat to call what I do craft brewing, but I believe it is officially just that. Rudimentary origami. In the past I have made beaded bells and done latchhook.

Have you ever latch hooked anything? Is it still on display somewhere?
Yes. A boat. Two cats. There is latch hook in the house (the cats). I suspect the girl I gave a latch hook clown to in high school may still have it in a closet with the rest of her clown collection. She probably pulls it out now and then so her husband can laugh so hard he almost chokes on his beer.

Doll crafting. Why do they do it?
Real children are imperfect and messy. Dolls are not. They are perfect in all ways. Real children should not poop, nor spit, and should be born complete with a historical ethos.

What was your favorite craft hobby as a child?
Felt. I loved to play with felt - cutting it out into animals and objects and playing and making stories on the felt board.

Do you admit to crafting, or do you call it something else (like DIY)?
I've never admitted to crafting, even when it was obvious I was crafting by beading. I talk about brewing. After that, I get evasive.

List everything you've tried from a crafting perspective:
Latchhook. Beer/brewing. Woodwork. Baking. Beading. Origami. Pottery (there are ash trays around somewhere. Nothing as nice as my sister's pottery, but mine is more historical). Ah...I forgot High School and Boy Scouts. Painting. Leatherwork. Carving. Ropemaking. Basketweaving (I have my basketry merit badge). There must be others. Merit badges are all about crafts.

Ever been injured while crafting?
Wood carving. I cut the end of my thumb bad enough I probably should have gotten stitches. Twice.

Has anything you've crafted been displayed at a state fair, regional fair, county fair, 4-H meeting, or similar event?
My art has been displayed at school when I was younger. Specifically, I remember my art teacher being very complimentary of a paper mache Easter Egg diorama I made, only to be frustrated to learn I was going to give it to a girl.

Have you ever worn anything you bought at a crafting fair? (or anything someone bought you at a crafting fair)?
Not to my knowledge.

What's the most interesting thing you've ever crafted?
Beer. Everyone loves a finely crafted beer. The giant Valentine's card I made for Kris in high school, although that was more along the lines of 60%+ Kyle crafting. He owned more wood tools then then I do now.

Have you ever sold your crafts?
No.

Have you given your crafts to others?
Beaded bells to literally everyone as Christmas ornaments: family, friends, prospective dates. Must be 10% of Monticello. I've also given latch hook rugs to a few people. My wife, which isn't so embarrassing. And the clown incident noted above. I've also given homebrew to anyone who would drink it, and used to attend my friend Greg's annual brewing party where beer was exchanged.

If you could instantly gain a crafting ability what would it be?
The ability to make medieval armor and weapons. Is that one ability or two? If I gained the ability to be truly good at a craft, I might hesitate and ponder whether I wanted to be a really good brewer/mead maker.

And what would you make?
Maces. Swords. Polearms. Mesh bikinis.

For whom?
Anyone who wanted to beat on the practice dummy in the back yard wearing a mesh bikini.

Do you have a relative who has crafted something that's considered a family (or personal) treasure?
My mother makes quilts. I have one. My siblings each have one. And now the grandkids do. Grandpa Harry knitted sweaters and mittens that were highly coveted. My Dad latch hooked the rug I slept on when I was pre-K and very involved in nap time. My mother made Eryn a Bob the Bear that exactly mimics the bear I had as a kid. We don't have a lot of hand-me-down furniture and these are absolutely the equivalent.

Before you look, how many pictures do you suspect are listed by Google related to the craft of sock monkeys?
6500

Explain your personal, presumably ad hoc, opinion about people who virtually craft in virtual
worlds (like World of Warcraft)? Is it crafting?
No. It's game playing and economic modeling. You don't have to have a craft skill to create a craft in World of Warcraft, you just have to have time, the ability to read the help files, and a
desire to game, which isn't a craft, despite what any nerd might say. Yeah, yeah, you created a unique something-something fiery sword of elf slaying with a geotagged enchantment that does more damage closer to the point of origin. Whatever. You're playing a game.

You're trapped in Bill Murray's Groundhog Day. What crafting skill would you refuse to learn despite having infinite time to learn it?
My apologies to my sister-in-law and SAHM, but scrapbooking. They make pretty invitations and books - but it's so not anything I can relate to. I imagine I relate to it as much as they relate to wanting to code C#. Also, lace making. I don't think I own anything with lace, so what would be the point?

Definitions:

1. tatting - telling on your friends or siblings. Not really. I know this one - it's related to making lace, somehow. Maybe fixing the edges of frayed lace?
   
2. flocking - what's done to a Christmas tree by spraying it with crap that looks like snow.
   
3. kerf - a hat, worn by native Afghanis. Hey! I looked this one up, and Kerf and Afghanistan are not unrelated.
   
4. selvedge - edge of a bolt of fabric (I believe I learned this from my mother, because I don't know why else it's a word that I know).