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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Memories of Murder

Pooteewheet and I watched Salinui chueok or Memories of Murder over the last two days. It purports to be a South Korean movie based on the investigation of South Korea's first serial killer who killed 10 women in six years. While this might seem tragic and disturbing...and it is...it's also funny in a keystone cops way, as the local cops beat the crap out of anyone that might possibly be a suspect, trying to force them to fit the mold, and the knowledgeable cop from Seoul spends his time doing something closer to real investigation. In the end, the local cop learns a few thing about real investigation, and the Seoul cop learns how to kick the crap out of perps. Uplifting. I offer a few choice scenes and comments. There's a bit of paraphrasing because I can't be troubled to write things down verbatim, I can only impart the spirit of what I see. That said...I'm damn close to spot on.

"We don't have the technology in Korea. It must be sent to America." (Cops all look really dejected. Regarding DNA testing, but they seem to be making a larger point.)

A note: apparently, as long as I show up at the hospital with someone in semi-rural Korea, I can authorize surgery, up to and including amputating below the knee. This is good to know if I hate someone and can get them anywhere near Korea. In this particular case, the cop in question was using his leg below the knee to don a sporty hand-sewn booty he used to kick the crap out of perps, making it somewhat ironic. But that irony was probably lost on his partner. I could find funnier uses. "Damn straight I'm sure. My brother-in-law has been talking about being a woman for the last six years."

My favorite - local cop, who's just finished a rousing round of karaoke where he harasses and physically annoys patrons, and Seoul cop, both drunk and arguing, local cop's buddy (the booty perp kicker) mauling what seems to be a prostitute behind the booth, the police chief getting ready to hurl and make another possible prostitute haul it away. Local cop opines, "You know what they have in the United States? The F.B.I. And their heads are always spinning, like tops. Because you know what they have in the United States? Lots of land. So they always have to be thinking because they have so much ground to cover. If they're weren't thinking first, they'd never get done. But Korea. Korea's only as big as my dick. You can walk across the whole country. That's why they say Korean cops investigate with their feet."

Needless to say, that local cop seemed to be smaller than me. So if he's average, I'm going to assume my dick is actually bigger than Korea. You can argue with me if you like, but I have Korean cinema to back me up on this. You'll just have to blame Netflix for letting me anywhere near another culture.

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