Scooter's review: Mary Jane, Spider-Man's girlfriend cries. Peter cries. Spider-Man cries. Spider-Man's sometimes best friend, sometimes enemy, cries. Spiderman's lab partner the part-time fashion model cries. The bad guy cries. The other bad guy cries (albeit, before he's really a bad guy, but he still cries). J. Jonah Jameson does not cry. Peter Parker looks stupid when he's all emo.
I think perhaps Spider-Man 3 is a essentially a 140 minute after-school special (complete with after-school special acting quality) condemning emo. Emo will make you hit your (ex-?)girlfriend. Emo will put you at odds with your family. Emo will erode your moral center. Emo, is in fact, one of the greatest evils facing humankind, and only through the power of church bells (God), can humankind fend off emo. Also, emo is alien. And if you rearrange the letters in Venom, you get Emo NV. Coincidence? I think not.
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