Dysfruitopia

Work gives us two pieces of fruit every Tuesday and Thursday. It's one of our perks. So today I picked up two apples after coming back from Chipotle. I'm not convinced burritos are a good source of vitamin C, even with the lettuce. I took a big bite out of the first one, and it made an uncharacteristic "Pop!" Think of the cork on a champagne bottle if you were pulling it out with your teeth. A big chunk of apple came loose, and I tasted what can only be described as the world's worst apple schnapps. And you know how bad apple schnapps can taste.

I spit the chunk into my hand and noted it was a little brown on one side. The apple sported a similar bruise at the bottom of where I'd bitten and gave off a rather unpleasant smell. I had a cafeteria spoon at my desk, so I gave it a tentative poke. At which point the entire inside of the apple collapsed into a brown wash of liquefied seeds and muck. Completely hollow - so much so that the stem collapsed through the top and into the center. I did not hurl. But for the rest of the day, even after strong, cold coffee, I could taste and smell rotten apple everywhere. Which is why I didn't hold on to it long enough to take a nasty picture for the sake of blogging. But I did show it to Christy, just to give her second thoughts about her own complimentary fruit.