I Think I Ate (Part of) a Worm

It was the day of the Minnesota Ironman. Not that swim, bike, run thing most people think of - the Minnesota Ironman is just a lot of biking before spring officially makes itself known. Past years have involved sub-zero (F) temperatures during the morning and a little bit of dribbing rain or even snow. This year, it rained. It's been raining for three days in Minnesota, and it rained all through the Ironman 2006. Every square foot of the roads and trails is covered with drowning worms, and many of them on the Ironman route had been prechopped by the riders before me (I went a little late this year - not until about 7:30-8, and yet I still managed to park closer than I have ever parked before). End result, by mile 8 I was drenched, and covered in worm bits. At the rest stop I was able to have a warm cup of coffee, half a muffin, wring out my gloves and pick worm bits off of my bike. Eryn and I spent quite a bit of team washing my bike down when I got home just to make sure all the dirt and bits were off.

I had really wanted to do the 60 mile version this year, and I think if the weather had been the same as last year, I would have. But when I got there and it was (still) raining and I noted that my gear was water resistant, not water proof, I took the wiser course of action. I am no longer 20-something. Weird sighting - I think I saw the guy who stopped by our duplex yesterday to see about renting the open half. Can't be sure as he was far away, but that would be strange.

I'd do it again - the weather, if there hadn't been rain, would have been great. It was in the upper 40s and the part of the ride that's normally flag-snapping windy was the least windy part of the ride (though for a 30 miler, there's a lot of uphill). Seeing as it comes at the end of the ride, it was a pleasant change of pace. And, and...I got a free Summit beer! Not an actual one, mind you, though that would have been best, but a coupon for a free Summit in St. Paul. That should serve to wash away the taste of the worm bit that I think was on my water bottle.

Inappropriate Easel

Eryn got not one, but two easels for her third birthday. There was a bit of a mix up and she was saturated with the things. One went back to the store, exchanged for all the things you might use to color/paint/etch on the other. This one - the Boppa and Manna one, not the Dan'l and Cookie Queen (and P'mon) one - remained.

This is a picture of the box the kept easel came in. Notice anything strange? Sure, ABCDEF looks pretty normal. But what about PSTAR? And once you see PSTAR, do MOON or SKYN seem quite so innocent? There's also another bad word sort of mixed up and hidden in there as well. It's like a dirty game of Boggle for preschoolers. Shocking!

Scooter Quest 2006

I like to keep my goals in life small - it makes it easy to succeed. That said, Eryn got a new fish tank from Kyle for her birthday and a gift certificate so she can buy some fish. I have this overriding urge that she name her fish after people I know at work. But they're not my fish, and it's not really my right to name them and, if anything, she should name one after the person who bought the tank for her, although I think a fish named Kyle might be more at home in a fish tank full of beer, little pieces of other fish and wasabi and soy sauce.

So, I've set my sights low and I'm hoping she'll name just one fish after one of my coworkers - one who can obviously be representin' for all of them. That's my Scooter Quest 2006. The fish I'm sure is necessary that makes the most sense to name after a coworker is the plecostomus (that's him upper left). Hangin' out, looking dark, gloomy and grumpy, though of essential purpose and an integral part of the group, and trailing some occassional mucus (in this case fish-related, not allergies) - I'm talking about you Mean Mr. Mustard - but your real name, not 3M. I'll let you know how it goes after the tank is in place.

Commuting Notes

I'm up to 145 miles or so of bicycle commuting in the last three weeks. I bike to work pulling the Burley, and then pick my daughter up on the way home from daycare on her daycare days. That leaves me a few days without her because she's not full time daycare, and I try to remember to haul an extra set of clothes in on the Burley days so I don't have to pack them into a sack on days I can open up and go some extra distance. It's a little strange leaving the car sitting in the garage for up to 9 days at a time, and I'm not saving any great amount of money (I'm close to work and have good gas mileage on my Saturn), but I feel like I have more energy and I'm definitely more cheerful.

Three notes from today's commute:
1.) To the Eagan Fire Station: the quote on your board, "Just use your head, figuratively, wear a helmet" should appropriately be "literally, wear a helmet", because you're going to actually use your physical head to install the helmet. I think I can see the figurative part - maybe you mean "think real hard about it", but I think that's the more common use of "use your head", so it really should be "literally". I'm open to being convinced otherwise.

2.) To the guy whose golf ball was sitting on the corner of Cliff and Pilot Knob: dude, the closest golf course is way way up the hill and over the top, and there's a bunch of trees between that dogleg right and the road on the 18th hole - I know, I've played the course. You are a seriously bad...bad...golfer. But my daughter appreciates the free golf ball.

3.) Only one person took a right turn in front of me and cut me off as I was on the bike trail (see the comments at the very bottom), forcing me to stop. That's a record (in a good way) so far this season.

Bring Your Child to Work Day

My child isn't old enough for bring your child to work day, but my coworkers have kids the right ages. One even made his kid get on her bike and commute to work with him because he's been biking to work lately. They set up virtual courses on our development system today for them and let them play around with the system - maybe not real coding, but enough to make them UI experts.

The coworker who had his little girl bike to work told me a story about his daughter and today that I thought I'd share, hopefully I get it correct.

After the tour and all the activities were done, Coworker's daughter noted that last year he'd been on floor one of the building, and now he was on floor two. Did that mean he was moving up and becoming more important (it took him a long time to get to floor two, so he'll probably be dead before he gets to floor six). Standing in the middle of his new cube, a mere 60% the size of his old one, with lower walls, more noise and a mail box that's basically a big shared plastic tub, he replied, "This is not what important looks like."

18 Families

Ming wonders what separates good companies from bad companies? I think being on this list of only 18 families trying to repeal the estate tax might seriously tilt you toward bad (via TaxProf Blog - the Citizen.org report is 57 pages long). Of course, there's alway our own local baseball magnate candidate for the list, Pohlad (via Smartie at Power Liberal). And if you feel particularly like reading about the ultra rich tonight, Orcinus' Dave Neiwert can explain to you how those families need the money so they can escape the coming environmental disasters they're foisting on the world.

• Allyn-Soderberg Family (Welch Allyn Inc.)
• Blethen Family (Seattle Times Co.)
• Cox Family (Cox Enterprises, Inc.)
• DeVos and Van Andel Families (Alticor/Amway)
• Dorrance Family (Campbell Soup Company)
• Gallo (E&J Gallo Winery)
• Harbert Family
• Johnson Family (BET, RLJ Development Co.)
• Koch Family (Koch Industries)
• Mars Family (Mars Inc.)
• Mayer Family (Captiva Resources)
• Nordstrom Family (Nordstrom Inc.)
• Sobrato Family (Sobrato Development)
• Stephens Family (Stephens Inc.)
• Timken Family (The Timken Company)
• Walton Family (Wal-Mart)
• Wegman Family (Wegmans Food Markets, Inc.)

Fond Memories For Kyle - Tsuki

Just a post for Kyle, so he can revisit it from time to time and have fond memories...

1 Hitachino
1 Kirin Ichiban
1 Glass Pour 01Cha. St. Roe
1 Glass Pour Diet Coke
1 Beni Toro Nigiri
1 Smoked Duck Nigiri
1 Spicy Tako Nigiri
1 Shime Saba Nigiri
1 Smoked Duck Nigiri
1 Spicy Tako Nigiri
1 Uni Nigiri
1 Kappa Maki
1 Unagi Cucumber Maki
1 Philadelphia Maki
1 Crazy Tuna Maki
1 Honey Miso Steak
1 Pasta Stick (Eryn's!)
1 Oyster Shooter and Shot
2 Tobiko Nigiri (Wasbi) - extra $0.50 for quail eggs
2 Smoked Duck Nigiri
1 Green Tea Ice Cream (with Boysenberry on top)

3/20/2006 - Tsuki Japanese Restaurant and Lounge, 1441 W. Fullerton Ave., Chicago, IL.

Sweden Gets the W

I think the real problem here is that the Swedes couldn't say: "What the hell is George W. Bush doing now?" without it.

'W' Gets Its Own Place in Swedish Language (Yahoo) - "The letter 'W' has entered the mainstream of the Swedish language, getting its own section for the first time in the country's most respected dictionary..."

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Tax Prof Blog posted "Where Do Your Tax Dollars Go?", a link to a web site where you can input your federal tax bill (if you're not paranoid about that sort of thing) and get back a breakdown of where your money went, in a general sense, such as:

Smithsonian Institution: $1.01
US Institute of Peace: $0.13
Intelligence Community Mgmt. Account: $0.63
Institute of Museum & Library Services: $0.38
United Mine Workers Benefit Funds: $0.13
Corporation for National Service: $1.14
Court Services Agency for DC: $0.25
Denali Commission: $0.13
Broadcasting Board of Governors: $0.89
Public Company Acct. Oversight Board: $0.13
Anticipated Hurricane Supplemental: $7.35

Denali Commission? The program needs hyperlinks so I know what the heck I'm paying for - it reminds me of those bills I used to get at the University of Minnesota for student services that listed 85 separate groups and services.

Apparently the Denali Commission is a way to fund programs in Alaska. I believe it targets the poorest of the poor in Alaska, so I think I can afford the $0.13. I just wish I spent more than $0.13 on the United States Institute of Peace - after all, they only recently started an Iraq Study Group. Nice website though, and extremely up to date. I also spend $0.13 on Spectrum Relocation, which is, as near as I can tell, money I'm paying so they government can move radio/wireless networks so that private companies have access to those bandwidths. When the government finally sells those airwaves, I better see a $0.13 a year cashback on my taxes, plus interest for the length of time since I spent the money. I'm not fond of funding wireless initiatives for private companies considering they tend to pursue monopolistic practices in individual communities.

Bad Role Model

I think AmericaBlog's point is that GW will be ignoring Earth Day and isn't listening to the people, just his iPod, but if Bush is indicating that he'll be riding his bike while he's plugged into an iPod, I'd like to argue that as a role model for good biking behavior he's an abysmal failure. I will actually go out of my way to tell another biker to lose the ear plugs if I see them riding with them in use, even if it's on a trail - they're a danger to motorists, other cyclists, pedestrians and themselves. It's one of the few issues over which I'll ditch my genuinely pervasive Minnesota Nice and be a serious nuisance. If I see you with them in and you're biking, I'm going to make sure your ride and music are ruined for at least the short duration and hopefully for the rest of the day. It might be argued that with the Secret Service tagging along, he's in no danger of not having enough ears and eyes, but given his track record for accidents, literally running over others, and relying on faulty perceptions of reality, he might try giving his own senses a try for once.

Bush's bike ride Saturday was no Earth Day stunt. The president rides on most weekend mornings, but made the special detour to overnight in St. Helena
just to get in a picturesque ride through wine country. He had no official events there.

"I can't wait," Bush told his San Jose audience. "I'll be plugged into an iPod."

AmericaBlog also has a link up to Pink's Dear Mr. President at YouTube (it's not a Marilyn Monroe thing), and if you're more of a just listen without hearing the words sort of person, you can catch the lyrics here.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away

And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay

I can only imagine what the first lady has to say

You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

Pooteewheet has her first really sizeable post in quite some time up: I Heart Porn.

And finally, Kyle, TallBrad, Erik and I (shout out to Darren from work who was also there) went to the Summit Brewery Scandia Release Party this last Thursday to try their new beer - a wheat beer not unlike Blue Moon. S4xton left a comment on my blog and has pictures up - not too exciting, but you can see TallBrad looming a head over everyone else in the fifth (and perhaps eleventh) pictures.

Snarky and Scooter

Snarky and Scooter (based on Ben Stiller's Heat Vision and Jack - if you read this, you can probably avoid 30 minutes of that - consider it time saved. A gift of sorts. All similarities to persons living and dead are entirely uncoincidental.)

Snarky, a torts lawyer turned PHP programmer involved in a freak legal information accident that turned him into an encyclopedia of law, able to access large legal caselaw repositories remotely without the aid of a computer. He hates the law and the people subject to laws, but his unique gift always draws him back.

Scooter, another programmer. Involved in a freak biking accident that merged him with his Bianchi Brava 1988 road bike making him a living bicycle. Wild and unpredictable, his primary motivation is to get women to sit on him.

One bitter and jaded. One footloose and maybe certifiable. Together they flee the powers that would bring anarchy to all law-abiding citizens, an anarchy that would force everyone to increase their use of online legal information repositories.

Episode 1: The One With Miss Pisbo Beach

Miss Pisbo Beach: "Help! Help!"

Snarky, running up panting, a slight limp from a volleyball injury: "What's wrong?"

Miss Pisbo Beach: "I need the tax law details about how to claim my pet kitten as an accessory to my pageant activities and whether I can sue my manager for publicly defaming Mr. Whisker-kins at the Miss Pisbo Beach nude invitational."

Scooter, rolling up: "Oh man...that is so much Greek to me. Actus corpus reus. You were a lawyer, Snarky. Can you help her?"

Snarky, standing stock still with a far away look on his face, then a vicious shake of the head as though disgusted at the very air around him: "Damn it. No way, Scooter. That database isn't in my subscription model. It's a dead end."

Scooter: "Bend my freakin' spokes. Maybe you should search Lex..."

Snarky, with a vicious, downward cut of his hand: "..Shut up, you pile of rusty gears! You want them to hear you? It'll cost us just to use their name."

Miss Pisbo Beach: "Who?"

Snarky: "Them. They're all around us, and they're watching, and we're covered by an airtight non-compete clause. Scooter. Give me two of your spokes, your sprocket, your chain and two feet of brake cable."

Scooter: "Dude! That is so inappropriate!"

Snarky: "Quick. Before the law changes and I have to graphically cite the information!"

Scooter: "Only if she removes the pieces for me."

Miss Pisbo Beach: "Do it yourself, you pervert!"

Scooter: "If I could lift my own chain tool, do you think I'd be hanging around here? You'd never get me off the hooks in the garage, lady."

Miss Pisbo Beach, looks disgusted.

Scooter: "Fine..." The pieces just fall off.

Snarky: "I think we can create an antenna to boost my access levels. Stuff the chain down my pants while I put the spokes in my ears and write a quick PHP injection script."

Scooter: "F' that, man. I'm going to have to pass."

Miss Pisbo Beach: "I'll do it."

Scooter: "Baby. After what we had together?"

Snarky: "Yep...no...almost...left...further...further. Right there. Compile me!"

Scooter: "Excuse me while I wrap a few more layers of handlebar tape around everything that might be my eyes. "

Snarky: "Got it. I'm printing off the relevant laws for you right now."

Scooter: "I don't think you took enough of my parts to make a printer."

Miss Pisbo Beach: "My hero!"

Scooter: "Lame! You should have been mine. You know my seat has pleasure nubs?"

Miss Pisbo Beach, looks revolted, but surreptitiously rubs his seat to check.

Snarky: "All in a day's work, ma'am."

Scooter: "Coffee?"

All three: "Always!" Back and handlebar patting accompanied by laughter and happy ending theme song.

Loss of Teeth

Planet Dan just posted a link to a chart detailing the state-by-state rankings of loss of natural teeth. It's particuarly funny to me because my neighbors, Christy and Steve (and Ty) just got back from visiting Christy's mom in West Virginia for Easter. Based on the stats, Christy probably had to prechew.

#1 West Virginia 42.8%
#2 Kentucky 38.1%
#3 Tennessee 32.2%
#49 Minnesota 14.3%

A Grab Bag of Variety

Over at the Southern Poverty Law Center's The Last Word, there's a story up that seems to capture someof the essence of being American lately:

"Let me see if I've got this straight," the Marine cadet said. "The Minutemen are protesting Mexican immigrants, the anarchists are protesting theMinutemen and the Nazis, the Nazis are protesting the Minutemen and the anarchists, and the Black Panthers are protesting the Nazis, who are American, but also Nazis, like 'We love Hitler' Nazis?"

The reporter confirmed that was indeed correct.

And this is for my friend Kyle, who gets far more upset about toll roads than I do, and I hate them. I think he'll be avoiding Indiana for the next 75 years or so.

In the biggest highway privatization deal in U.S. history, state officials last week signed an agreement to turn the 157-mile Indiana Toll Road over to a Spanish-Australian consortium that will operate it for a profit for the next 75 years.

And, just for a bit of a trip to the past for some of my friends, the Summit Brewery Tour, 2003. Marnie's Brother, Marnie, Scooter, Tall Brad, Lisa, Mean Mr. Mustard, Christy Two Fist, Erik the Hairy Swede, Sandy and Pete. A few of us (and Kyle) will be attending the Summit Brewery's release of Scandia Ale tomorrow. Should have just stayed there since the tour.

Easter Penis

We once again had Easter festivities at our house this year, for my family and various extensions to my family that were willing to eat turkey (last several years) and ham (this year - was easier to cook than turkey, but Pooteewheet's cheesy hashbrowned potatoes wouldn't cook through after a lengthy stint in both the stove and microwave).

So...some pictures of the event. Conner/P'mon during the egg hunt, blowing bubbles with the crack pipes the Easter Bunny left him and Eryn. This was about the only picture I have of him not in a pink tutu. Eryn really liked her pipe and spent a lot of time pouring bubbles all over her arm, the pipe stem and the ground. You can't see him, but Cancer Bunny is somewhere in the background! We thought he was dead, but he made a special appearance for Easter, great big tumors and all. He's either very tough or Easter really is about resurrection.


Conner and Eryn looking for some eggs. Pink tutu in evidence. Eggs visible in the background.


My niece being a serious cutie. My happa happa bunny rabbit joke just made my sister groan. She's a good sister/aunt; she actually went out to Chuck E. Cheese with us tonight for Eryn's third birthday even though my niece isn't old enough to really do much (although her sugar-deprived system seemed to be thriving on the sugar-added pizza sauce they feed kids at C.E.C.).


A squished egg. Pooteewheet can't cook them right - at least not this batch. And Conner didn't seem capable of not stepping on them. It's ok, because Eryn was pretty sure that any eggs left by the Easter Bunny were going to look like this anyway, considering he sits on all of them.

At one point, our neighbors, Steve, Ty and Christy came home (from vacation in West Virginia - thanks for the beer mug! ummm...go Mountees?) and were practicing pitching a baseball in the backyard - so I threw one of the eggs across the immediate neighbors' yard and into their yard. They proceeded to throw the three pieces (or so) back, which came no where near our yard, instead landing in the other neighbors' yard and actually on the roof of the inbetween neighbors' house. They'll be wondering what the hell the Easter bunny was doing up there for a long time!


And finally, the snake in a can that's really a penis in a can that I secretly wedged in Cookie Queen's license plate before they left and then told them about when they got home. In my defense, it was actually Dan'l penis and he left it at our house quite some time ago, so I was just returning it. And, Pooteewheet found it while doing Easter cleaning. Not to mention, Easter is about reproduction... I'm surprised you don't see more of them on Easter.

Easter Blogging

Jesus does want you to understand the myths surrounding Easter.

The name for this holiday comes from much older times whose customs we're now not all that familiar with. Many old religions had a Spring Goddess, a special deity who breathed life back into the world, both by banishing Old Man Winter and by encouraging growing things to grow and living things to mate. She went by
many names. The Scandinavians called her Ostra, the Anglo-Saxons Eostre, and those who lived in the region that is now Germany knew her as Eastre.

(so much for farming my back yard: "a shower of rain promises a good crop
of grass but little hay. ")

But he doesn't want you to go to MySpace.

According to Rebecca Hagelin, the author of Home Invasion: Protecting Your Family in a Culture That’s Gone Stark Raving Mad, youth ministers who use the website myspace.com to reach out to their congregants, in the hopes of meeting them where they are, are simply saying to teens: “Meet me at the pornography store, and we’ll talk about Jesus.”

The Power of Three Meme

You follow one meme, lose your meme virginity, and all of the sudden everyone thinks your loose. Bloggers... She Says tagged me, so I will try my best to play the part of tagged, though I think these things might actually change on a daily basis - I'm not known for being of incredibly firm opinions.

The Power of Three: See Spot run.
Three things you'd like to SEE in your lifetime, whether or not you think it's likely.
1. Any minority President of the United States (that doesn't mean Catholic) - see question #3.
2. A permanent colony on another planetoid.
3. Eryn (my daughter) the age I am now (actually, I most want to see a grandkid, but more than that I want to see my daughter happy, and that might not include a grandkid).

Three SPOTs that you have visited that are "must see".
1. London and the surrounds - one of my fondest memories as I went when I was young and by myself. I'm a bit partial to the city because I have a (English) History major with a secondary major in (English) literature, so every step I took was walking through one of my books.
2. Blue Spring State Park in Florida - manatees and a big hole through/under the mountain that you can (or could) swim over with a particularly eerie feeling that you might suddenly be sucked away. It's beautiful and I've never forgotten it - so it had an impact.
3. Chicago - New York for Midwesterners. I love the skyline, I love the buildings, I love the art and the museums, I love the food, and I love their choice of politicians (see question #1 and #3).

Three people you'd like to see RUN for public office and why.
1. Al Franken - but not for the reasons She Says gave. I want him to run because I live in the state he's likely to run in and it would give Powerline and folks on the right an aneurism if he won. They'd be convinced we'd returned to the days of Wellstone.
2. Barack Obama. Yeah, yeah...I know he's already run and he's a U.S. Senator. I'm looking forward to the day he runs for a higher office (see question #1).
3. My coworker, Erik. I already know he's electable, even with the beard, because I've seen his doppleganger in office (as a righty). I like his politics, I like his beer choices, and people like him - he should be destined for shinier things than his current job. If not him, then his long-term girlfriend should run and he could be the activist first spouse.

If I must tag someone, I tag Pooteewheet, Cookie Queen and Lissy Jo. Not Mean Mr. Mustard - I can't be sure he has three friends.

NOW and the South Dakota Abortion Ban

If you can still catch this week's episode of NOW on PBS, it was a very good short piece on the South Dakota abortion ban. Sarah Stoesz, head of Planned Parenthood in Minnesota and the Dakotas, was very interesting to listen to. However, the Purity Ball was the highlight of the show due to how creepy it was. When certain Christians point to the gulf between them and others who don't believe as they do, this is the sort of thing I picture - they presumably find the Purity Ball touching, affirming, and family building. I find it disturbing, detrimental to the growth of empowered girls/women, and anti-family in the belief that the women in a family are responsible to the father/husband right down to their sexuality.

There are more resources at the site, as well as a scheduler to see when the next showing is in your zip code.

Pharyngula Blogs Lil Markie

Oh, man, is this scary. I had heard one of the MP3s before, but never actually seen the video of Lil'Markie (mov). It's terrifying. You need to sit through the first part to get to the parts that make your skin crawl. I can't believe there's a whole congregation who a.) wanted him to come sing, b.) sat through his singing, c.) clapped when he was done. That just seems like Minnesota nice...clapping that's so subtle in its sarcasm that you don't realize it's sarcastic because those doing the clapping don't know they're being sarcastic. But I doubt that was the deal - I bet they really liked it, and that's almost more frightening than the singing.

If you need to listen to Lil' Markie's Christian stylings, you can hit WFMU's Beware of the Blog. And if you have obnoxiously Christian friends, maybe this is what you need to subject them to at Christmas and as presents on Christian-themed holidays. After all, they created Lil' Markie, they should have to pretend to enjoy him.

Remember to Do A Last Minute Scan

Remember to do a last minute scan of your taxes. After all if you live in one of these fifteen states (below) or the District of Columbia, you need to include your iTunes tax (from Prof. Caron's TaxProf Blog)! Remember Dad, that could include Mom!

This makes me wonder how the logistics of buying iTunes tunes works for tax purposes. Say I take my laptop to Arizona...do I owe iTunes taxes? Or is based on state of residency? But that wouldn't work if I were buying something tangible, like the actual CD the tune was on, because then I'd be paying taxes in Arizona, not Minnesota. But if the reverse is true and it works just like regular sales tax, and you pay based on where you were when you downloaded, then shouldn't I save up my list of tunes and download them when I'm in a state that doesn't specify the tax? And what are the implications for this on sales taxes long term? Will all my sales taxes start being submitted back to my state of residency? Seems like that would annoy the heck of states which deal with tourism and would directly benefit states with a higher standard of living. I guess that's why I follow Caron's blog - the answers to my important amateur tax questions...and video of DEA agents shooting themselves in the foot.

• Alabama
• Arizona
• Colorado
• Hawaii
• Idaho
• Indiana
• Kentucky
• Louisiana
• Maine
• New Mexico
• South Dakota
• Texas
• Utah
• Washington
• West Virginia
• Washington, D.C.

I Am Not Kewl Enough for MySpace

Although I've often railed that I'm not young enough, nor hip enough, to have a MySpace account, particularly given the 20-some year old coffee barristas get excited when I mention it, I actually had need of an account a few days ago because I wanted to see some pictures an artist had posted on their account. So I followed their link to create a free account and decided I should actually check what sort of terms I was agreeing to with my content, even though I had no imperative or desire to expand my web presence further afield.

The terms seemed tenuous at best.

So, at least if they're not willing to give me terms, they're willing to keep my access somewhat private...right?

But...being of a generation and general computer-related persuasion that I just don't care too much about terms and privacy statements, I thought I'd just sign up anyway. After all, there's the weight of millions of users behind the site - the terms can't be so rough as to cost me my child or a tithe off my salary. That's when I learned that what they were really implying was that I'm not cool enough for MySpace. Several attempts to enter my information resulted in just being pushed back to the registration screen with some of my data cleared, the "share your birthday" checkbox rechecked, and an error message that told me absolutely nothing about how to resolve my issue. I think it was all a big joke. They saw the "human interactive proofs" shortcut (top picture) in my links bar and decided they'd make me reenter one half a dozen times. Sounds like a twenty year old's sense of humor.

No Legal Marriages, Only Spiritual Ones

This is cool - I wish the Lyndale United Church of Christ would have been around when I was in my churchin' phase around age sixteen - they sound like my kind of people.

"I will no longer sign marriage licenses. Opposite gender couples will have to go to the judge at city hall to have them signed," said Pastor Don Portwood from the Lyndale United Church of Christ.

Members of the 120 year old church in South Minneapolis voted unanimously to support the move. "We have decided that we are no longer going to discriminate against same gender couples, that we will only do religious weddings and religious ceremonies for same gender or opposite gender couples."

This, on the other hand, is not cool: "If you like sushi, you're supporting the world's biggest religious cult." Rew is right, the Wege should be cursed - not for ruining something trendy, just for ruining a little bit of something that's freaking delicious. I look forward to Rew's right up of the best places to eat sushi in the Twin Cities (and Chicago, and NY) that are not funneling money to the Rev. Sun Myung Moon. I find it particularly disturbing that I went to Chicago solely to eat sushi....is nothing sacred? Ah...weddings at the Lyndale United Church of Christ are...hmm...wonder if they have a Moon-less sushi potluck?

Memes and Masks

First off, go see She Says' mask collection - she needs a place with more walls. I'm really not qualified to say whether that collection says anything deep about lawyer-ing, but it must be handy to have when you want to practice your mock trials.

And...because I read Generic Heretic, I'm going to give up my meme virginity as well...

"I'm not sure I like their plan for converting us to their religion, seeing as it involves dying and all."

The Venerable Book:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open it to page 161.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

I Think...

...that being a computer programmer is one of the few places someone can ask, "Have you ever found yourself on the wrong end of a bidirectional relationship?" and I'd have to answer, "Yes. Who hasn't? But I've always tried to join appropriately given my performance concerns."

It is beautiful here in Minnesota. Gorgeous. Wonderful. It's why people put up with the rest of the crap in Minnesota. Everyone is outside - grilling, chilling, willing the weather never to change. No bugs, just an edge of cool in a whole bunch of warmth with an impending perfect evening. And it was good commuting by bike weather as well - just enough to make your nipples cold, but not so much as to require a second jacket.

As for substance...I'll be piggybacking. After School Snack has a post up about what it's like to live in El Dakota...whoops...El Salvador...where abortion is completely illegal under all circumstances. I hope I never have to hear the phrase " forensic vagina inspectors " again. And as for the rest: " stories of women sticking battery acid and pesticides into their vaginas as abortifacients, women serving sentences of 30 years for having an abortion, forced vaginal examinations for any miscarriage"...ugh. Yeah...f-in' paradise.

And Smartie at Power Liberal has a post that I was still remembering after two Summits at the company happy hour: 101 Issues more important than Michele Bachmann and her stupid amendment proposal (I paraphrase...and Smartie, did you mispell her name on purpose? Two l's together implies "lesbian". After all, they're touching): "Class sizes; War in Iraq; Special Ed funding; War in Afghanistan; Graduation rates; Renewable energy; Traffic; Conservation; Government corruption; Higher Ed. funding; Trade deficit; Bird flu; Terrorism; Iran; Preschool/Headstart funding; School funding; Drug war policy; Other pandemics/diseases/etc.; Education equality; Student loan funding"...and 81 others. By the way, don't forget shrinking cubical sizes...that one impacts me personally and is far more important than a gay marriage amendment.

Chalk Drawings

Pooteewheet has a nice picture up of Eryn and I taking our first Burley ride of the year - we went to the library. I've never been to the library before it opened before, and it greatly confused Eryn. She was sure there had to be some mistake. It was kind of creepy, as all the people standing around waiting looked like some extended scene from Dawn of the Dead, or groupies at the doors to a concert for a really bad rock band.

It wasn't really necessary to wear the gloves -it wasn't that cold - and I even biked back in a t-shirt, which given the uphill climb, with a Burley, and a little girl who's not as little as she was last year, and the headwind, was a good idea, because I was working the 1x3 gear for all it was worth and getting a little sweaty. It's my plan to actually bring Eryn home from daycare in the Burley now and then, so I'll get plenty of practice going up that same hill.

Eryn and Conner also made some chalk drawings that Pooteewheet didn't post. Left to right, top to bottom you can observe Eryn with her Cookie Monster sweatshirt on. Eryn as a boy. Two-headed Eryn (she was sure one of those heads was mine at first - but now she just seems a little worried about the whole two-headed Eryn thing - it was the result of her hoodie). And...umm...the chalk drawing Conner/P'mon's mom made of him. I think that's supposed to be his butt - although I'm not sure why it's on the front. Do your own psychoanalysis (clickable for larger consideration).


And what is this thing on my car? From far away, I was worried it was a rat, but up close it just seemed to be a piece of carpet. I'm confused as to how it got there, and for a while I was really worried that it was the blob (go watch the Steve McQueen version if you don't worry about things stuck to the axle of your car - I don't go under there unless it's absolutely necessary).

Bombing Iran

I wonder if he's in a hurry to do this before he's impeached so he doesn't miss out on his chance to fulfill his "legacy". Read The Revealer and it's link to Hersh's article at The New Yorker.

"Bush bombs Iran back to the stone age, and what -- in his imagination, anyway -- is the result? Mass disillusionment. A nation losing its religion. And that, in his book, seems to be a good thing."

From Hersh's Article:

One former defense official, who still deals with sensitive issues for the Bush Administration, told me that the military planning was premised on a belief that “a sustained bombing campaign in Iran will humiliate the religious leadership and lead the public to rise up and overthrow the government.” He added, “I was shocked when I heard it, and asked myself, ‘What are they smoking?’”

North Koreans Stereotypes?

Pooteewheet and I are watching Shiri, a movie about North v. South Korea, some sort of assassins and high-powered explosives indistinguishable from water. What I've learned is that North Koreans look suspiciously evil - not quite grown out facial hair, pinched or crabby look, longer hair. South Koreans, on the other hand, all look a bit like Daniel Dae Kim. Hmm...where have I seen this before...where?

There is a pretty cool fish tank in the movie that's three plexi glass tubes with screw on ends all wired together like a ladder with really thick rungs. I'm pretty sure Kyle needs one for his frontroom.

My Adopted Daughter Is The Most Beautiful Child in the Third World

I'm pretty sure my sister reads The Onion, but just in case she misses it, I felt I should point out the article "My Adopted Daughter Is The Most Beautiful Child in the Third World".

"You really couldn't hope for a better child from the Third World. When I look into her brown, almond-shaped eyes, I don't see light-absorbing blotches so much as a window to another perspective, another way of life. By that I mean the American way of life. And she's going to love it.

We're renaming her Whitney, by the way..."

Howl's Moving Castle

Eryn got her own copy of Howl's Moving Castle (Rotten Tomatoes reviews) today because we couldn't stand to keep our Netflix movie out of the queue for several months. She loves the movie and insists on watching bits of it almost daily. And while there's some violence, I'm not sure I wholly disapprove of her watching a movie where the main characters are primarily pacifists, there's a strong female character, and the base story line is about renouncing evil and finding your heart. Every time I see a piece of it I learn something new about the movie, and despite a rather hastily tied up ending, it's really rather convoluted in its story. Not to mention, Billy Crystal is hilarious as a rather small fire demon.

We think this bodes well for finding her a copy of Kiki's Delivery Service.

Just Not So Much

I just don't have so much to talk about. I spent last night playing poker, taking second in one game and fourth in another, which means I netted $20 if you don't count beer and chips and the stress on my family from trying to get between a broken garage door at a rental unit and Tall Brad's to play poker. By the way, if you know Tall Brad, remember to ask him why he dyed his hair...he hates that.

Otherwise...allergies, allergies, allergies, and taxes, taxes, taxes. Taxes for my personal use. Taxes for the business with my brother. Taxes for my wife's self-employment and estimated quarterly filing. Taxes for her business that are special taxes health care providers pay. Don't get me wrong - most of those things are losing money, so it really just comes off the top of my personal taxes, but there's the possibility I'll have to be a competent tax lawyer, or accountant, to figure it all out by the time it's through.

For something fun, Musing of Law and Gender has a neat picture of a diving tower to train bubbleheads on U.S. Naval submersibles. When I was growing up, my Dad would tell me about having to swim in one of these, and I never could get a clear picture of one in my head. I usually pictured one of those cheesy tanks they put half dressed mermaid women in at long-gone 50's bars. But he says he was actually in this one, and one in Hawaii as well.

If you don't read World O'Crap, they have a funny series up discussing the impact of Red Dawn on red staters. I wish they would have actually done a more academic-style discussion of how Red Dawn influenced red staters, but it looks as though you might be able to get some of that by following links in the comments.

• The Movie That Made the Red States Red
• The Greatest Pro-Gun Movie Ever, Part 2
• Wolverines! (nice picture)
• Red Dawn in Morning, Commies Take Warning: Red Dawn at Night, Yellow Elephants' Delight
• Red Dawn 5: This Time It's Personal!

Asian American Political Memorabilia

I really meant to post a link to this when I came back from Houston, and I think the fact that I still think about it means it's just a really great post. She Says at Unblague posted a few pictures from her collection of Asian American political memorabilia - pins, signed business cards, photos. It's just a neat collection, and if you haven't been to her site to see it, it's definitely worth a visit.

Olympos

I finally finished reading Olympos, the sequel to Ilium, and I have to say I really enjoyed it. Everything in Ilium that seemed open ended and inexplicable was ramped up and tied up and explained in Olympos, and Simmons did an amazing job of tying together Greek/Roman mythology and history, Shakespeare, Proust, bits of literature from all over the map, and science fiction. Unlike the reviewer on Amazon who wrote, "I think authors, especially science fiction authors, should at least attempt to come up with original ideas instead of cobbling together something from the works of ancient authors such as Homer and Shakespeare", I think it's wonderful when authors go to a great deal of trouble to acknowledge how they arrived at some of their ideas - heck, one fourth of them are usually grabbing something from the Bible or Shakespeare. The whole point of Simmons' books is that the greatness of those artists and their works created new universes and influenced all the individuals in the current universe, so far as to force them into molds of conformity, despite their superhuman ability to do anything they wanted. Rather than do something new, the power of those old works and stories pulled them back into recreating those events and storylines for them to live in. Even the creations of humans - robots with a bit of humanity in them - are obsessed with the great thinkers and artists of human history. The series is about finally breaking out of that mold in many respects and creating a new set of stories and a new history (with an interesting little aside about what sort of forces are unleashed by people who don't care about the artists of this world, only life in the next).

And Achilles - well, if you truly feel that the Greek hero deserves some sort of sanctity of image - this isn't the book for you. But if you recognize that no matter how one paints a warrior, they still kill, lust, and are driven by needs which can almost seem ridiculous when taken off the battlefield, then he makes a lot of sense, more sense than Ulysses who knows enough to tame his nature off the battle field, and yet still seems bounded by his warrior nature.

In the end, the book is really just quite a bit of fun and a step above Ilium precisely because it seems to be having more fun and because most things that were confusing in that book really are explained, although only as many things as can be dreamt up in Simmons philosophy.

5:4 - the Marriage Amendment Bill Dies in Committee

Death to the anti-marriage amendment in Minnesota. It's so wonderful to see Michele Bachmann shafted...um...lose her bill. Complete with former Minnesota Viking testimony: '...Esera Tuaolo, who is in a committed gay relationship, just gave a very powerful testimony concluding with "I know God loves me."'

DeLay resigns from Congress as well...it's a good day.

Sometimes I Don't Feel So Smart

I heard someone on the radio talking about a uro-gynecologist and, I'm sure you can see where this is going: I wondered why gynecology over there would be any different than over here. Less shaving? [Scooter ducks]. I felt like a tool when I realized what they were talking about.

And speaking of being a tool, this seems like the work of a tool to me: Jesus Could Have Walked on Ice, Scientist Says. Not because it's not possible that it wasn't a miracle and just a patch of ice, but because if it was a patch of ice, I really can't believe that none of Jesus's wine-drinking disciples wouldn't have stepped out to prove they were "blessed" too, "Dude, this is sweeet! I am so being a miracle man!" Or maybe this is one of those logic problems they give you on the Christian GRE where the answer is, "Jesus was the lightest! Paul was second heaviest. And Judas weighed the most!" (he had the spirtual weight of those future pieces of silver hanging on his soul).

Law Related - Duke and 3L Epiphany's Taxonomy of Law Blogs

First of all, this story about a rape at Duke is really disturbing, particularly because it's not just about the rape but about all sorts of class and racial issues swirling around the crime. It reads like something out of the accounts about lynchings and I imagine that's exactly what it might have been at another point in history. Not that white men were ever lynched for raping black women, sexual ownership is part of what lynching was meant to protect, but because the community unrest spiraling outward from white/black crime used to be a signifier that a lynching was going to happen to offset other pressures in the community. A very nice write up by Allen G. Breed of the AP.

Secondly, Paul Caron at TaxProf Blog has a post up linking to 3L Epiphany's taxonomy of law blogs. 600 law blogs broken down by various categories. Cool. I used to maintain cycling links for our local group, and the process of maintaining a database, multiple categories and the validity of links is painful, so it's great to see someone tackling it with any category of blogs, and law blogs are a rich source of content. However, in this age of wikis and shared links, it always seems like it would work better if it were a system multiple users could help to maintain, otherwise it has a hard time defying blog block, missed sites (and there are many missing on that list), and ennui unless he figures out a way to make money off of it. Note to some lawyers I know that Minnesota State Law is completely unrepresented in the taxonomy - then again, maybe that's conflict of interest for the lawyers I know - forget I said anything.

Surly and The Horny Gnome

Or maybe it's the Surly, Horny Gnome...wait...no...The Drunken Gnome. That's not it either...Thirsty...Drunken...Hungry...almost...ah...we (Dan'l, CookieQueen and their son, P'mon, Pooteewheet, Eryn, Kyle and I) went to The Happy Gnome in St. Paul on Saturday and I got to try my first Surly beer, Surly Furious. I've always loved Summit EPA, it's my beer of choice, and I've never found anything I like quite as much on a glass-to-glass, long-term drinking basis, and it's got the added appeal of being a local brew, but Surly Furious...damn is that a good glass of beer: four varieties of hops and the same malt used in Macallan single malt scotch - almost designed with me in mind.

We also had food, although the selection seemed limited, as was evident in the sheer volume of bison burgers that hit the table. My medium came well done, which is usually a serious problem with buffalo - but was tolerable in this case, which indicated it wasn't all buffalo. The waitress assured us it wasn't, but was mixed with bacon to give it some moisture. The waitress also gave the three guys a hard time latter when she noticed that the women and children had abandoned ship and we were left drinking all alone.

Two other observations - I ran into yet another coworker, Matt. Not someone who works in another department even, but formerly within a few cubes of me - so that was interesting. And curling must be way more popular than I realized as the lot was packed so full people were parking on the street, and yet the bar didn't have that many people in it. As it shares its lot with the Curling Club, that had to be where people were hanging out - Winter Olympics residue?