Saturday, February 18, 2006
A Perfect Birthday Gift
Every year I find my friend Dan'l something for his birthday that has the sole property of upsetting his wife. Alcohol, cigars, shirts with crass sayings, etc. This year I gave him meat. I saw this post over at Planet Dan about making a bacon sandwich (really...go look, it's not just a BLT without the LT), and although I didn't have enough time to order bacon gum I certainly had enough time to visit the groccery store. So his L-O-V-E giftbag (he's a Valentine's baby) contained a loaf of Wonder Bread, 3 pounds of thick slice bacon (20.4 cents per oz., a savings of 3-4 cents an ounce over the per pound price), a package of precooked, no cooking required before eating, bacon he can take with him anywhere, a package of ring bologna, and two Millers to wash it all down. I even went to the trouble of sending the picture of the bacon sandwich to CookieQueen first so she'd know what the gift was all about when confronted with it.
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Unfortunately I did know what it was as soon as I saw that loaf of Wonder Bread peeking out of the bag. I did NOT show those pictures to Dan - because I knew he would want to try it himself. The bacon is still in the fridge at this point - I'll be sure to have him take pictures if he decides to give it a try. And send you the bill for the ambulance ride to the ER!
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