I used the dolls to craft a snarky response to Kyle, who accused me of waiting anxiously for In Her Shoes (it's an MST3K thing). Kyle, in turn, meandered around wishingfish.com until he found something more disturbing: Winston the Gnome. This is Winston - and I'm sure that's supposed to be a pipe in his hand...otherwise some other gnome is in a world of hurt, or is about to be pleasured. Maybe it was a gag gift from Winston's bachelor party - like the Mr. Peter ice cube maker Kyle bought once that we used to torture a certain Microsoft technologies writer. Winston sings too, as long as you fill him up with your words. 
Wishingfish has several rather disturbing items for sale. I'm not entirely sure why you'd want Be Nice/Be Good Elf Soap, particularly not if you do a reasonable job of cleaning your privates. And why, why would you want to have a unicorn on your desk impaling someone? It's not cute. It's not clever. It's just downright weird. The unicorn alone says something strange about you, and then topping it off with a mime, new age woman and businessman/boss is just weird. Do people really get away with impaling their boss as a figurine in their cube and not get called out by management? Isn't it stage one in the "How to Spot a Disgruntled Employee" handbook?
And finally, I guess we now know why they put hot women in shower advertising, because this guy is simply not selling me on my very own Microphone Shower Sponge. Why is he wearing jewelry and glasses in the shower - did he just have Lasik? And why do you need a microphone shaped sponge -can't you just sing into anything? Regular sponges are squeezy - so squeeze and pretend - you're going to have to pretend the audience is in their underwear when you make it big anyway, so now is as good of a time as any to practice.
7 comments:
Are you sure that's jewelery in the microphone picture? I'm thinking soap-on-a-rope.
Just for the record, I didn't buy the ice cube maker - that was a tasteful gift from Dan'l one Christmas. I can only take credit for floating an ice cube from said mold in Chris's orange soda.
Actually I think this whole post is just a veiled hint that you'd like someone to give you a copy of In Her Shoes. But then again, I'm guessing you can't wait that long, and are queued up outside BestBuy at this very moment, waiting expectantly for the doors to open, so In Her Shoes can finally be yours to own & cherish...
I think I've figured out the microphone shower sponge - the glasses are a tell! It's Bono, and apparently he's shaved his head, but is unwilling to give up his trademark eyeware for his shower scene. The microphone shower sponge people are using star power to sell their product!
BTW, if anyone wants to purchase elf soaps, they'll have to look to someplace other than Wishingfish - they're sold out. And here I thought I was going to get a really big jump on Christmas shopping this year...
Aren't you assuming that it's a microphone, and that he's singing? I mean, have you considered all other possibilities?
And why, why would you want to have a unicorn on your desk impaling someone?
Jonathan the Impaler might. Oh wait, he's in jail now. :p
For a moment I thought you had another funky picture of my husband while seriously intoxicated - the shower man looks a little like him...
Man, that is one crazy stream of consciousness, but I'm glad the pregnant paper dolls struck a chord!
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