Chumans, Humanzees and Manpanzees, oh my...

I'm a little jealous of my friend Kyle because he has one of the Discovery Channels I don't get and always has interesting stories about shows he's watched, like he did today, humanzees. Never heard of one? Fortunately, Wikipedia has the scoop.

"The Chuman (also known as the Humanzee or Manpanzee depending on which species is the father and which is the mother) is a hypothetical chimpanzee/human hybrid. Chimpanzees and humans are very closely related (most agree that they share 98.4% of their DNA in common), leading to contested speculation that a hybrid is possible.

Hybrids are named according to the convention first part of sire's name + second part of dam's name (except where the result is unwieldy). Chuman therefore refers to a hybrid of male chimpanzee and female human. Humanzee or manpanzee refers to a hybrid of male human and female chimpanzee."

or

"Chuman" alludes to the more sinister hybrid, fusing the intelligence of a human with the relative upper-body strength of a chimpanzee, bred for megalomanic and military ends. "Humanzee", however, evokes a more placid and militarily impotent animal; combining the weakness of a human with the relative stupidity of a chimpanzee.

Much of the discussion about humanzees concerns a chimp named Oliver who was "Unusual in that he walks in a bipedal gait and enjoys the company of people--or did when he was younger. He was originally brought into the U.S. with 12 other chimpanzees but immediately stood out as different. He learned to drink, enjoy coffee and beer, and smoke cigars. In the evenings he would sit on a sofa and watch television. If his caregivers were out of coffee, he would walk into the kitchen, pour a cup, and take it into the den. As he got older, he made sexual advances on the wife and as a result was sold. Now living in retirement in Texas."

If all this discussion about human/ape crossbreeding bothers you, just go read about Napoleon Dynamite's favorite animal, the Liger ([pic] which is a cross between a lion and a tiger, and not an animal known for its skills in magic), the Wolphin (dolphin + killer whale), or the zorse (zebra + horse).